


The Bachelorette Fan Club

by jb_andhismilk



Category: GOT7
Genre: 2young are also in love, Crack, Everyone Is Gay, Got7 is gay, Humor, I’m a sucker for 2young, M/M, Mark is horny, basically Mark pines for all of them, chat fic, jackbum are gross and in love, markbam but you’ll need a microscope, minor yugmark, some cussing just btw, some memes also, text fic, yugbam are fearless
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-05
Updated: 2018-10-05
Packaged: 2019-07-25 12:03:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 5,491
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16197164
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jb_andhismilk/pseuds/jb_andhismilk
Summary: -jaybee has created a chat-added jackiepoo-added I<3cock-added parkedcar-added markiepoo-added bamdamn-added babyyugsAnother crack text fic but with my pairings because I’m 2young and Jackbum trash :p





	1. One

-jaybee has created a chat

-added jackiepoo

-added I<3cock

-added parkedcar

-added markiepoo

-added bamdamn

-added babyyugs

 

jaybee: sorry this took so long, I had to search through my profile and find you by pictures

jaybee: your usernames are

jaybee: interesting

I<3cock: Mine isn’t funny like all of yours T^T I just thought of something short and simple

jaybee: um....Youngjae?

markiepoo: FUCK THAT’S YOUNGJAE?!

I<3cock: Yes hyung?

parkedcar: I have questions

parkedcar: pertaining to cock

jackiepoo: bitch me too

jackiepoo: so Jaebum hyung

parkedcar: omf not the time you hoe

babyyugs: Youngjae hyung why didn’t you tell us you were gay when everyone else came out?

jaybee: when WHAT happened

jackiepoo: you weren’t there. It was a Nora day

jaybee: wtf no one thought it would be important info for the leader to know

jaybee: Every fucking time I visit my cat I miss something important

jackiepoo: I was planning on telling you

parkedcar: yeah with your dick

jaybee: I’m sorry what

jackiepoo: ..

jackiepoo: you have no proof of that

bamdamn: wanna bet bitch I found condoms in your room

jackiepoo: those are for water balloon fights

bamdamn: then buy real balloons you idiot jfjjsjssj

jackiepoo: I thought it would be more fun with condoms. I bought cheap ones and high end ones. You pick one up and chuck it but you don’t know if it’ll break on impact

jackiepoo: like Russian roulette

jackiepoo: chaos

jaybee: Jackson what the actual fuck

bamdamn: let him finish

jackiepoo: no that was it there isn’t more to it I just wanted to fuck all of you over

I<3cock: The app froze! I’m back now :D

I<3cock: HOW DO YOU ALL KNOW I’M GAY （ ｉ _ ｉ ）

markiepoo: because you love cock....?

bamdamn: lol who doesn’t in this group really

jaybee: I don’t

parkedcar: ha

bamdamn: HA

markiepoo: HAHA

babyyugs: :( hyung even I could tell that was weak on your part

jaybee: fuck you all I’m finding a new group

parkedcar: now that Jaebum hyung’s denial is out of the way

parkedcar: Youngjae if you wanted to stay in the closet why did you say you love cock

I<3cock: I NEVER SAID THAT

parkedcar: sweetie your username

I<3cock: FUCKING

I<3cock: IT’S SUPPOSED TO SAY I <3 COCO

babyyugs: Well shit

markiepoo: watch your language twig

babyyugs: shut up twink

markiepoo: you little bitch take that back before I come in there and kill you with my bare hands

bamdamn: TF YUGYEOM DO YOU WANT TO DIE

babyyugs: I’m here for a good time not a long time my man

babyyugs: these years spent with you have been my happiest

bamdamn: shit bro I might cry

jackiepoo: this is a group chat pls maknaes postpone your love story

jaybee: let them finish

bamdamn: thanks Jaebum hyung but we have a separate chat for love and support

markiepoo: without me? whores

babyyugs: love you mark hyung <3

markiepoo: awww love you too gyeomie

markiepoo: I’ll still choke you

jackiepoo: kinky

markiepoo: literally shut the fuck up

parkedcar: Youngjae sweetie are you okay?

parkedcar: hyung can bring you something from the store

I<3coco: no hyung I’ll be alright

I<3coco: right after EVERY ONE OF YOU GAY BITCHES OUTS YOURSELVES TO JAEBUM HYUNG

jackiepoo: um why specifically hyung

I<3coco: T^T he was the only one gone on outing day, he doesn’t know yet

jackiepoo: makes sense

parkedcar: cool he already knows I suck dick

markiepoo: what

jackiepoo: what

babyyugs: care to elaborate hyung

bamdamn: I’m not surprised honestly those two can only get so close without being either twins or fuck buddies

jaybee: what the FUCK he never sucked my dick!

parkedcar: I meant I came out to him during JJP you scrubs

bamdamn: so you’re twins is what you’re saying

jaybee: maybe?

parkedcar: no

I<3coco: who’s next

I<3coco: don’t feel pressured If you’d rather not have Jaebum hyung know I understand

jaybee: tf am I that intimidating

jackiepoo: I’m pretty fucking gay

jackiepoo: and I’m a bottom

jackiepoo: but I’m totally down to switch

jackiepoo: in case you were wondering

jaybee: I wasn’t

parkedcar: he was

bamdamn: I’m also gay Jaebum hyung but not for you ;)

jaybee: that’s a relief at least

markiepoo: I’m a little gay for you Jaebummie but don’t worry it’s not enough for me to do anything about it

jaybee: are you gay? wtf

markiepoo: no .?

markiepoo: but definitely a percentage of gay

markiepoo: I touch Jinyoung’s ass too often to be straight

parkedcar: unfortunately

bamdamn: true

babyyugs: I feel that

I<3coco: I’d tap that

parkedcar: you’d what

I<3coco: ..

I<3coco: I was talking abt Mark hyung

markiepoo: well I’m not going to refuse

jackiepoo: Youngjae you absolute DILDO

parkedcar: JACKSON WANG

jaybee: Jackson that wasn’t very nice

jackiepoo: jjsjsjjdjdkdidirkrkdkfffff

jackiepoo: Jaebum hyung may I speak with you in private

bamdamn: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

babyyugs: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

markiepoo: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

jaybee: SHUT UP he isn’t even here he moved out remember

babyyugs: I sense

babyyugs: bitterness

jackiepoo: I meant in a private chat you dickwads

jackiepoo: Jaebum hyung pls

jackiepoo: it’s urgent

jackiepoo: and top secret

parkedcar: is it your nudes

jackiepoo: NO

markiepoo: whatever this is I want in

jackiepoo: FFFFFFFFFSSSSSSS

markiepoo: ..

markiepoo: so is Youngjae gonna bone me or

I<3coco: No :( sorry hyung

markiepoo: it’s cool

markiepoo: totally cool

markiepoo: so fine

bamdamn: hyung are you ok

markiepoo: what yeah I’m great

babyyugs: hyung I can see you from the hall putting that lube back in your drawer

I<3coco: What

parkedcar: WHA T

markiepoo: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

markiepoo: AHAHAHAHAHA

markiepoo: Bitch.

bamdamn: oh fuck run Yugyeom RU N

markiepoo: you wanna die?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	2. Two

-jackiepoo has created a chat

-added jaybee

jackiepoo: hyung

jaybee: what is so important that you have to be secretive

jaybee: you know the rules

jaybee: I want the group to be open

jackiepoo: hyung it’s Youngjae

jaybee: is he hurt?

jackiepoo: no hyung calm down he’s just in LOVE

jaybee: ..

jaybee: you’ve got to be kidding

jackiepoo: honestly I’m not

jackiepoo: he’s got it bad for Jinyoung’s ass

jackiepoo: well and the rest of him but let’s be honest you fall for the ass first and the rest later

jaybee: I’m going to forget I read that about my best friend’s ass

jackiepoo: Don’t deny it. And I thought I was your best friend hyung is so mean (T-T)

jaybee: hold the fucking phone. Youngjae. Likes Jinyoung

jackiepoo: YES YOU DICKWAD haven’t you noticed

jaybee: tbh no

jaybee: why would he tell you and not me

jaybee: no offense

jackiepoo: ..

jackiepoo: I may have some experience in his situation

jaybee: you like Jinyoung’s ass

jaybee: why am I not surprised

jackiepoo: no hyung you’ve got it all wrong!!! I had a teeny crush on him for like two years

jackiepoo: not anymore so you don’t need to be jealous ;)

jaybee: ..

jaybee: I wasn’t

jackiepoo: :(

jaybee: so why did you feel the need to reveal Youngjae’s private thoughts to me

jackiepoo: SHSSDFFFFFF I FORGOT

jackiepoo: so you’d know why I called Youngjae a dildo

jackiepoo: he was clearly lying in the chat

jackiepoo: he said he was talking about Mark hyung but I see the truth

jackiepoo: Youngjae thinks he’s so sneaky

jackiepoo: he was being STUPID I had to show him the error of his ways he’s never gonna get Jinyoung if he’s talking about Mark that’s such a turn off

jaybee: still

jaybee: calling him a dildo was a little harsh

jaybee: also why would Mark be a turn off? he’s hotter than most of us

jackiepoo: shit u right

jackiepoo: maybe that was Youngjae’s strategy all along?!

jaybee: ..

jaybee: okay I should go ..

jackiepoo: love you leader hyung :)

jaybee: love you too Seunnie

jackiepoo: EEP I’m in love

 

 

 


	3. Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had about three posting mishaps and had to take out the actual pictures because I don’t know how to post them here but here it is :)

bamdamn: shit guys

bamdamn: I just had a thought

markiepoo: oh boy

jaybee: is that thought the realization that it’s your day to buy coffee tomorrow

bamdamn: no

bamdamn: thanks for the reminder

bamdamn: but listen kids this’ll blow your minds

parkedcar: tf we’re almost all older than you

jackiepoo: let him finish

bamdamn: I realized today that fate totally put the seven of us together for a reason like some star alignment destiny shit it was miraculous

babyyugs: ?

markiepoo: go on

bamdamn: think about how shitty our lives would be if we hadn’t met

jaybee: yeah so I could say that about half the friends I have that doesn’t mean it was magical or miraculous

bamdamn: SHDJOROWKHT let me finish

bamdamn: think of it this way. Jaebum hyung and Jinyoung hyung were in JJ project before but then they totally flopped so they were put back in trainee program until they were chosen for Got7

jaybee: we DID NOT FLOP

I<3coco: you didn’t survive either hyung

jaybee: so nice of you to join us Youngjae

bamdamn: and about Youngjae hyung too! he only trained for seven months. it would’ve been easier for them to place him with a group that would debut later but the universe placed him with us so he could meet us and we could all love him

jackiepoo: sounds about right

jaybee: that I can agree with

bamdam: and I was supposed to debut with people my age but since my dancing was so good and since I knew Mark hyung and Jackson they let me in

markiepoo: um didn’t you get down on your knees and cry begging for them to let you debut with us instead?

bamdamn: maybe

bamdamn: but only because fate told me to debut with you hyung :)

bamdamn: anyway fate brought us together even after all that and now we’re a happy family who loves each other right Jaebum hyung :D

jaybee: that’s right Bam

bamdamn: :D

babyyugs: if we love each other then why did Mark hyung try to kill me yesterday

parkedcar: because you were asking for it haven’t you learned anything

babyyugs: not since Bam moved out :(

bamdamn: shit bro I might cry AGAIN

jaybee: why can’t my kids just be normal jfc

parkedcar: stfu Jaebum I am their mother I did all of the work in raising them you were just there for Jackson to gawk at when he got sad

jaybee: :( ouch

babyyugs: hyung don’t be so mean!

jackiepoo: although I have admired your fantastic face and perky ass for comfort, you have more redeeming qualities too hyung

jackiepoo: got7 wouldn’t be here without our best leader Jaebummie

jaybee: thank you princess <3

bamdamn: hold the fuck up

parkedcar: PRINCESS?

parkedcar: AM I MISSING SOMETHING?

I<3coco: gross

markiepoo: whatever this is I want in

jaybee: fuck all of you I’m finding a new group

I<3coco: you mean going to Jackson’s house to sulk

markiepoo: OH a bitch was called out

babyyugs: I’m happy for you hyungs make sure to use protection and always set boundaries and communicate

jackiepoo: we aren’t even dating

bamdamn: ha

markiepoo: HA

parkedcar: HAHAHAHA

parkedcar: bitch

parkedcar: your denial fools no one

jackiepoo: oh get ready hoe

|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||

-jackiepoo has created a chat

-added parkedcar

jackiepoo: so fate brought us together just so you and Youngjae could fall in love how romantic

parkedcar: Jackson :) I will drive :) to your apartment :) just to beat your ass :)

jackiepoo: think again bitch I’m the one with a license :) also kinky

jackiepoo: besides everyone knows you can’t drive for shit you’re bi

parkedcar: I hope from the bottom of my heart that Jaebum hyung never lets you suck his dick

jackiepoo: you take that back

parkedcar: :P

jackiepoo: I could’ve told Jaebum about your big gay crush on the otter but I fucking didn’t you better watch your back after betraying such a loyal friend

parkedcar: oh Jackson I know you would never tell him :) Jaebum wouldn’t be able to handle that information. Besides you can’t really talk to him with his tongue down your throat

jackiepoo: you’ll pay for that

|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||

jackiepoo: hey who wants to see a bad picture of Jinyoung

parkedcar: ha bitch there are no bad pictures of me

jackiepoo: oh honey

jackiepoo:

[jrdebut.jpg]

markiepoo:SSKKJGHK WHEEZING

parkedcar: I fail to see how that picture is bad

jaybee: it’s definitely your hair

bamdamn: holy shit Jinyoung hyung what did you do to make him so pissed

parkedcar: he started it

jackiepoo: :P

parkedcar: little does he know I have a few pics up my sleeve

I<3coco: I love a good show

jackiepoo: BITCH DO NOT

parkedcar:

[jacksonsmisery.jpg]

parkedcar: anyone who sends more awful pictures of Jackson will be my favorite child.

jackiepoo: you are dead to me

parkedcar: mutual

markiepoo:

[ashamedofwang.jpg]

jackiepoo: MARK HYUNG

jackiepoo: we have matching names and you betray me

I<3coco:

[jflawless.jpg]

babyyugs:

[embarrassingjacksonpic.jpg]

babyyugs: am I your favorite now hyung

jackiepoo: BITCHES you will pay

jackiepoo: I have dirt on more than Jinyoung

jackiepoo:

[yugyeomishigh.jpg]

babyyugs: hyung not funny :(

jackiepoo: oh no? how about this one?

jackiepoo:

[dumbassyugyeom.jpg]

bamdamn: don’t attack my bro like that

bamdamn:

[jacksshame.jpg]

jackiepoo: I took you

jackiepoo: under my big gay wing

jackiepoo: when’d you’d scream I’d fight away all of your fears

bamdamn: wait

jackiepoo: and I held your

jackiepoo: hand through all of these years

bamdamn: isn’t that a song from Mark’s American nostalgia mixtape

jackiepoo: and now you will pay

babyyugs: those weren’t the lyrics

jackiepoo:

[bamisalsohigh.jpg]

bamdamn: ..

jackiepoo: AND DON’T THINK I’VE FORGOTTEN DILDO

parkedcar: JACKSON WANG

jackiepoo:

[dumbassyoungjae.jpg]

I<3coco: nice try but I am adorable

I<3coco: your sweet sexy oppa bows to me

I<3coco: he cuddled me every night while you were stuck in a room full of moths with Mark hyung

I<3coco: you don’t scare me

bamdamn: oh shit

markiepoo: I am so turned on right now

jackiepoo: BITCH

jaybee: sweet sexy oppa....?

parkedcar: jfc Mark hyung control your dick please

||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||

-jackiepoo created a chat

-added I<3coco

jackiepoo: and Jinyoung still asks me for lap dances

I<3coco: he asks for those in front of everyone

I<3coco: and he thinks I’m cuter than you

jackiepoo: JJSKSNKSEIORLEKEND THEN ASK HIM OUT YOU DICKWAD

I<3coco: just because I’m cuter than you doesn’t mean he wants my romantic companionship

jackiepoo: I hate you so much right now

|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||

jackiepoo: is THIS abomination cute

jackiepoo:

[youngjaeswig.jpg]

bamdamn: HA

I<coco: I beg to differ

I<3coco:

[megustatsuyoungjae.jpg]

parkedcar: jesus FUCK

markiepoo: Youngjae that isn’t cute but it’s giving me thoughts

babyyugs: jackson hyung why are you attacking everyone

jackiepoo:

[youngjaeisnotcute.jpg]

I<coco:

[proofiamcute.jpg]

jaybee: just take my love and support just take it

babyyugs: awww hyung you’re so precious :)

jackiepoo: you win this round

I<3coco: :P

parkedcar: what just happened here

I<3coco: don’t worry hyung, I was just showing Jackson hyung who the real baby boy is

jackiepoo: you can’t be a dom AND a baby boy you dick

parkedcar: a what now

I<3coco: then how am I both hyung :P

markiepoo: shit wait is that a thing

markiepoo: hold up I’m asking google

parkedcar: did you say Youngjae is a dom

bamdamn: lol shouldn’t you know he manhandles you most

markiepoo: the results are in and

markiepoo: I think I have a new kink

jaybee: goddamit Mark this is the third one this month just stop exploring the internet just stop

markiepoo: you can ban me from pornhub if you want

markiepoo: just like on Christmas

markiepoo: and two months ago

markiepoo: but at the end of the day I’m still in a group with six other men who are also kinky as fuck

babyyugs: are we though?

jackiepoo: yes

bamdamn: yes

jaybee: shamefully so

parkedcar: okay most of us are but Youngjae isn’t kinky, he’s pure

jackiepoo: jfc you’re a dumbass

parkedcar: stfu Jackson I think I know Youngjae better than you do

bamdamn: “I think I know american girl dolls better than you do genius”

babyyugs: WHEEZING JFC

jackiepoo: Jinyoung is a thot

parkedcar: takes one to know one you bottom

jackiepoo: BITCH you’re a bottom I’m a switch we went over this during the coming out

markiepoo: what’s wrong with being a bottom?

I<3coco: nothing at all hyung love who you are

markiepoo: thanks Youngjae ily

I<3coco: ily2 hyung

jaybee: an odd moment of love amidst all this hate

bamdamn: oh here he comes

bamdamn: after a long hiatus

bamdamn: sweet sexy oppa

jaybee: ..

jaybee: this is why I left

babyyugs: no sweet sexy oppa come back!1!1!!

markiepoo: sweet sexy oppa we love you ;)

jackiepoo: hyung

jaybee: what

jackiepoo: :( I’m sorry I called you sweet sexy oppa that one time when I was drunk with Youngjae

jaybee: it’s okay Seunnie

jackiepoo: does hyung love me :D

parkedcar: no

jackiepoo: excuse me bitch is your name Jaebum

bamdamn: you mean sweet sexy oppa

markiepoo: sweet ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) sexy ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) oppa bring your fine ass back

bamdamn: okay the line has been crossed that’s enough Mark hyung

babyyugs: oh sweet sexually appealing oppa

bamdamn: I’ve created a monster

bamdamn: we’ve come this far. time to go balls to the wall full throttle. no fear

markiepoo: what in the fuck is that supposed to mean

jackiepoo: Jaebum hyung why are you ignoring me :(

parkedcar: calm down you hoe he’s in the bathroom

bamdamn: perfect

markiepoo: oh god what now

parkedcar: Jackson I get that you yearn for Jaebum’s love but was it really necessary to come over in person

jackiepoo: I’m at a cafe

parkedcar: then who just came in the front door?

markiepoo: SHIT IT’S BAM HE’S IN JB’S ROOM

parkedcar: I hope he has a good hiding place

parkedcar: hyung’s going to kill him

markiepoo: HOW DID HE GET HERE SO FAST

babyyugs: he was outside the dorm in the hall waiting

markiepoo: what the FUCK

babyyugs: bathroom’s open

babyyugs: here comes hyung

sweetsexyoppa: sorry had an emergency

sweetsexyoppa: yes hyung loves you Jackson

parkedcar: how touching

jackiepoo: fuck off

sweetsexyoppa: wait

sweetsexyoppa: who tf changed my name

I<3coco: BamBam did it

bamdamn: YOUNGJAE HYUNG

bamdamn: these hoes ain’t loyal

I<3coco: :P

 

 

 

 

 

 


	4. Four

jaybee: are all of you online

jackiepoo: always here for you hyung <3

parkedcar: check

bamdamn: where else would I be

babyyugs: yes hyung I’m here!

I<3coco: so am I

markiepoo: sup bitches

jaybee: we need to talk

babyyugs: about what hyung?

jaybee: all of the hostility in this group

parkedcar: I don’t know what you mean

jaybee: Jinyoung you called me a slut this morning because I drank the last of the milk

markiepoo: THAT WAS YOU?

markiepoo: you SLUT

jaybee: point proven

babyyugs: why is hyung a slut for drinking milk

bamdamn: yeah there’s plenty of other reasons

jaybee: what did you just say

bamdamn: nothing hyung love you :D

parkedcar: he’s a slut because he stood there in his underwear and drank it straight from the carton

markiepoo: AND BECAUSE THAT MILK WAS MINE

jackiepoo: lmfaooooo you have issues

jackiepoo: Jaebummie isn’t a slut he’s a big softie

parkedcar: stfu Jackson you’re just kissing his ass

I<3coco: Jaebum hyung is kind of cute though

jackiepoo: but Jinyoungie he does that face scrunch when something hurts his hand :( he’s so cute :(

parkedcar: you win this round

parkedcar: but only because it’s really cute when he does that

jaybee: I am NOT CUTE

markiepoo:

[jaebumhoodie.jpg]

babyyugs: just take my love and support just take it

jackiepoo: my bae <3

I<3coco: crying :(

bamdamn: hyung your little nose is a masterpiece

markiepoo: you’re still a slut

babyyugs: MARK HYUNG

babyyugs: :( we were just getting along

jaybee: hostility is back

markiepoo: it was MY milk

markiepoo: and besides I wasn’t the one who called you a slut when you drank it

jackiepoo: but you’re calling him a slut now so does that really matter

markiepoo: JINYOUNG STARTED IT SO IT DOES MATTER

parkedcar: you have no proof

bamdamn: I HAVE PROOF

bamdamn: I WAS FILMING YESTERDAY IN YOUR DORM

jaybee: why?

bamdamn: I WAS FILMING YESTERDAY IN YOUR DORM

jaybee: yeah but why

bamdamn: irrelevant

bamdamn: I GOT JINYOUNG HYUNG CALLING JAEBUM HYUNG A SLUT

bamdamn: HE WAS SO LOUD I COULD HEAR FROM THE BATHROOM

jaybee: that’s great but why were you filming in our bathroom

bamdamn: does it matter I caught the crime on tape

jackiepoo: then send it

parkedcar: BamBam I will disown you

bamdamn: lololololol you did that two years ago when I washed your silk undies in hot water by accident

parkedcar: fuck

bamdamn:

[1 Video Attachment]

jaybee: alright who’s gonna open it

babyyugs: shouldn’t you hyung?

jaybee: I don’t need the proof you all do

jaybee: besides last time Bam sent a video to us it was him dancing in his underwear with that mask

jackiepoo: ugh

jackiepoo: don’t remind me

I<3coco: I’ll open it hyung

parkedcar: Youngjae!!! I thought I was your fav hyung

I<3coco: I don’t have favorites Jinyoung hyung I just like how you smell and I like snuggling in your bed

parkedcar: I feel so used

jackiepoo: don’t, he’s lying he defs has favorites

I<3coco: bitch

jackiepoo: :P

jaybee: NO MORE NAME CALLING

babyyugs: right well

babyyugs: I opened it

jaybee: why was he filming in the bathroom

babyyugs: it wasn’t bad hyung he was trying to make a monster movie in the bath tub

jackiepoo: Bam what the actual fuck

bamdamn: I don’t need to explain my artistic vision to you

markiepoo: DID YOU HEAR JINYOUNG CALL JAEBUM A SLUT OR NOT

babyyugs: slut shaming confirmed

jaybee: I am NOT a slut

I<3coco: there’s no such thing as a slut hyung no matter how much sex you’ve had no one can shame you for it

jaybee: I’m not a slut!!!!! I haven’t even had sex!!!

markiepoo: ha

parkedcar: hA

jackiepoo: WHEEZING JFC

jaybee: ... in awhile

bamdamn: you haven’t been to Jackson’s in awhile either

babyyugs: a conspiracy thread

jackiepoo: puh-lease we haven’t even had sex yet

I<3coco: yet?!1!1!

markiepoo: so you’re admitting you’re together now

I<3coco: that makes sense I did walk in on them making out after practice yesterday

bamdamn: EUEEUUUWWWWW

markiepoo: DAMMIT I missed it

babyyugs: Jackson did kick me off the sofa just so he could sit on hyung’s lap

jaybee: I called Jackson princess the other day you idiots

parkedcar: but then you both denied you were dating you dumb bitch

jackiepoo: we got tired of hearing your theories :P we were waiting to tell you but you were annoying us

babyyugs: we’re sorry hyungs we’re all happy for you make sure to communicate and use protection

jaybee: thank you Gyeomie

parkedcar: ..

jackiepoo: Park Jinyoung don’t you dare

parkedcar: I wasn’t

jackiepoo: good

parkedcar: ...he’s still a slut

jackiepoo: GOD DAMMIT

jaybee: I give up


	5. Five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you’re allergic to dom Youngjae leave now or forever hold your peace

jaybee: at the store. Condoms?  
bamdamn: tf?  
markiepoo: no thanks I’m stocked up   
jackiepoo: hyung my love check the chat name :)  
jaybee: fuck  
jaybee: disregard  
parkedcar: gross  
markiepoo: oh that was meant for  
markiepoo: oh  
markiepoo: gotta blast  
I<3coco: does that mean that Mark hyung usually asks for someone to buy him condoms?  
parkedcar: yes  
jaybee: yes  
jackiepoo: yes  
I<3coco: I didn’t even know he was seeing someone :(   
parkedcar: he’ll tell you when he’s ready Jae don’t feel sad  
babyyugs: hyung could you buy more gummy snacks?  
jaybee: sure   
bamdamn: YEET  
jaybee: never say Yeet again  
bamdamn: hostile!!!1!1!1!1 environment!!1!1!!1 this isn’t a proper place to raise a child!!!  
parkedcar: you’re literally 21  
bamdamn: shut up you call me your sweet little baby every morning  
I<3coco: what?!! hyung you never call me that :(((  
babyyugs: he calls you baby boy what’s the difference  
jackiepoo: shskdkdkdk bitch wtf do you mean what’s the difference  
jaybee: Gyeom, hyung has to have a talk with you when I come home  
I<3coco: but Jinyoung hyung never called me baby boy?  
parkedcar: ummm  
babyyugs: :( am I in trouble Jaebum hyung?  
jaybee: no  
parkedcar: YES  
parkedcar: I’m killing you  
jaybee: NO KILLING  
I<3coco: hyung is that true? Do you call me baby boy?  
jackiepoo: I love a good show  
bamdamn: what the FUCK IS GOING ON HERE  
jackiepoo: JINYOUNGIE’S SECRET NICKNAME FOR DILDO JUST GOT EXPOSED AND YUGYEOM’S STILL PURE ENOUGH NOT TO KNOW THERE’S A DIFFERENCE BETWEEN BABY BOY AND MY SWEET LITTLE BABY  
parkedcar: JACKSON WANG  
jackiepoo: you can yell at me all you want I’ll still call him dildo  
jackiepoo: or maybe I’ll call him  
jackiepoo: baby boy?  
parkedcar: you’re tacky and I hate you  
jackiepoo: BITCH take that back   
jaybee: this is wild  
parkedcar: Youngjae you’re not upset with hyung are you?  
I<3coco: no! it’s funny  
parkedcar: funny?  
I<3coco: yeah since I call you baby boy to myself too  
jackiepoo: oh SHIT  
jaybee: Yugyeom log off right now  
babyyugs: but why?  
jaybee: do as I say and you get your gummies  
babyyugs: bye hyungs  
parkedcar: ..  
parkedcar: you  
parkedcar: call me  
I<3coco: baby boy   
parkedcar: jesus fuck  
bamdamn: I feel like I shouldn’t be here for this  
bamdamn: YEET I’m out  
jackiepoo: have fun you two ;)  
jackiepoo: Jaebummie’s gone too ;)  
parkedcar: ..  
parkedcar: so do you?  
I<3coco: like you? a lot? yes :)  
parkedcar: oh thank you jesus  
parkedcar: I thought you liked Mark hyung  
I<3coco: Mark hyung is nice  
I<3coco: but you’re my favorite hyung :)  
parkedcar: so you WERE lying about not having a favorite   
parkedcar: and about wanting to tap Mark hyung?  
I<3coco: I was talking about your ass hyung  
parkedcar: o  
parkedcar: oh  
parkedcar: and when Jackson said you were a dom?  
I<3coco: only if you’re okay with that hyungie :)   
parkedcar: oh no it’s   
parkedcar: totally cool  
parkedcar: I am totally cool  
I<3coco: baby boy?  
parkedcar: SHIT  
parkedcar: I mean yes?  
I<3coco: would you come to my apartment for a date tomorrow?  
parkedcar: fuck yes   
I<3coco: that makes me so happy baby boy :) wear something comfortable and I’ll order in  
markiepoo: YEET what time should we be there  
parkedcar: MARK HYUNG WHAT THE FUCK  
markiepoo: oh this wasn’t a group thing?  
markiepoo: oops  
I<3coco: no :( sorry hyung  
parkedcar: jfc  
markiepoo: ..  
markiepoo: so how turned on are you Jinyoungie  
parkedcar: oh my god Mark LEAVE


	6. Six

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We’re almost to the end just bear with me I know it’s painful

princess: the newlyweds have been at Youngjae’s for hours

princess: bet they’re totally fucking

markiepoo: tf jackson is that you

princess: yes :)

bamdamn: gross

jaybee: jackson babe I love you but why the fuck would you say that

bamdamn: yeah Yugyeom’s in this chat he doesn’t need to think about Jinyoung bottoming

markiepoo: you all realize Yugyeom isn’t as innocent as he lets on right

princess: well duh the kid molests the floor at fansigns

jaybee: I blame hit the stage

jaybee: they taught him those dirty moves

bamdamn: lolololol think again hyung are you forgetting about the American in our group who knows American dancing and has a huge hard on for all six of us

jaybee: MARK HYUNG

jaybee: have you corrupted our maknae

markiepoo: ..

markiepoo: define corrupted

markiepoo: because if you’re asking if we fucked the answer is no

bamdamn: they totally made out though

markiepoo: SNITCH

markiepoo: I’m never playing fortnite with you again

bamdamn: well shit

jaybee: Yugyeom is this true

jaybee: I know you’re online you little shit

babyyugs: I’m sorry Jaebum hyung :(

princess: it’s alright gyeomie don’t be sad! Everyone has to make out with Mark it’s like a rite of passage in this group. Like loving cock

babyyugs: so all of you have made out with Mark hyung?

princess: back during trainee days

jaybee: MARK HYUNG you swore it was platonic and straight and just because I was bored

markiepoo: lol I lied also you couldn’t even fool me back then with the straight act

bamdamn: last month

babyyugs: even Youngjae hyung and Jinyoung hyung?

jaybee: Jinyoung has

bamdamn: TWINS

jaybee: we are NOT TWINS

princess: what about Youngjae Mark hyung? have you tongued the otter you deviant?

jaybee: babe never say that again

markiepoo: I made out with Youngjae like five times

markiepoo: we were bored when we were roommates

jaybee: lmfao been there

princess: you made out with Youngjae when you two were roommates?

princess: and sharing a bed?

princess: while I was stuck with Mark and the moths?

jaybee: omfg NO

jaybee: I meant when you and I were roommates

jaybee: jackson we literally made out every night before bed don’t you remember

princess: yes good times

babyyugs: how long have you two been sneaking around?

princess: oh we weren’t dating then

bamdamn: tf

parkedcar: I saw what you bitches said

parkedcar: since you were all dying to know what we’ve been doing for hours

parkedcar:

[1 Video Attachment]

princess: oh my fuck is that a sex tape or some shit

jaybee: I’m so afraid to open it

markiepoo: I’m ready

babyyugs: I sighed so hard I think I broke a rib

bamdamn: Mark hyung is just endlessly horny bro you’re going to learn to live with it

jaybee: hyung what’s in the video

markiepoo: it’s just their stupid feet cuddled up under some blanket

markiepoo: that’s really low Jinyoung just sending me a cute video of your date and I wasn’t even allowed to come

I<3coco: hyung we didn’t want a third wheel on our first date

markiepoo: YOU ARE WATCHING THE BACHELORETTE WITHOUT ME

jaybee: they’re watching the bachelorette?!

jaybee: you SLUTS

princess: how DARE you both

I<3coco: we didn’t plan to watch without you all

jaybee: this family watches Becca find love together

babyyugs: you two are backstabbers

bamdamn: I can’t believe you’d break tradition all because Youngjae hyung is a dom

parkedcar: it’s literally an old season rerun we wanted to watch

bamdamn: that’s still a whole season of hot rugged men that we don’t get to see hyung

jaybee: you’re forgiven but you’re on thin fucking ice

parkedcar: oh please like you and Jackson haven’t broken any sacred rules

princess: I don’t recall

parkedcar: oh yeah what about when you two finally had sex for the first time last week and I could hear you both for two damn hours at ass o’clock

bamdamn: EEEUUUUUUEEEEUUUWWW

princess: there’s no rule that says we can’t have sex

parkedcar: FUCKING DO IT AT YOUR APARTMENT JACKSON I DON’T WANT TO HEAR ABOUT HOW GOOD JAEBUM SUCKS YOU OFF

jaybee: sorry Jinyoungie

parkedcar: oh just you wait

parkedcar: you will pay in due time

markiepoo: oh fuck

babyyugs: hyungs please :( I live here too

bamdamn: bro sleep at my apartment

markiepoo: can I come too Bam?

bamdamn: bitch yes bring fortnite

princess: this is war

parkedcar: bring it on hoe


	7. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My epilogue is short I’m so sorry for dragging you all through this

“Oh, shit! Fuck yes!”

 

Jackson groans in annoyance for the umpteenth time, dropping his face into his pillow as Jinyoung’s pleading voice drifts through the walls. “Maybe if I lie like this long enough, I’ll suffocate,” Jackson mutters. Jaebum, who is lying next to him and pretending he can’t hear his best friends having sex in the next room, pats his boyfriend on the head assuringly.

 

“Babe, I hate to say I told you so but you did challenge him.” Jackson lifts his head only to turn a glare on the elder that says he isn’t helping. Jinyoung and Youngjae had arrived at the dorm unexpectedly early and had taken up residence in the living room, blocking Jaebum and Jackson’s only exit. Now, the two of them were forced to hide in Jaebum’s room and listen to....

 

“Wait. Do you hear that?” Jackson sits up suddenly, startling Jaebum who soon joins him with a puzzled frown. Instead of the loud and obscene moaning, the two of them hear laughter. Youngjae’s uncontrollable cackle to be more specific. Before Jaebum can stop him, Jackson is up and out of the room, darting into the living room where the second couple is lying on the floor, fully clothed, and not having sex. Instead, they’re laughing.

 

“You bitches were faking!” Jackson cries, scandalized. Jaebum is suddenly behind him looking just as shocked. “You faked sex for twenty minutes just to teach us a lesson?!” shouts the leader in disbelief.

 

Jinyoung sits up and catches his breath, staring at the two of them with a triumphant smile. “You actually thought the two of us were shameless enough to fuck just to make you listen?” This puts Youngjae into another round of giggles. Jackson glares at the both of them. “That’s it. Grab your toothbrush Bummie, we’re going to my place,” he grumbles, sending Jinyoung one last searing look before storming off toward Jaebum’s bedroom.

 

Jinyoung only turns to Youngjae with a smile, brushing the hair from the younger’s tear filled eyes. “Well honey, we’ll have the place to ourselves. After all that acting I’d say the real thing should be a breeze.” Youngjae lets out one more laugh before he drops his hand onto Jinyoung’s thigh, his eyes glowing.

 

“I’m ready when you are, baby boy.”


End file.
